Friday, December 19, 2008
El Mano? A salute to Public Transportation...
So, for those of you who don't know - current Washington weather has been crazy snowy! Due to scarily icy road conditions, I took the bus to work this morning. As we all know (well those of us who live in Seattle and have, at some point in our college lives, taken the bus on a regular basis) - there are always weird adventures on the bus! Public transportation...makes me laugh. So this morning I sat down on the bus, hoping for a chance to thaw a little as well as talk to my mom on the phone. That was not in my cards however as I ended up sitting next to the ONLY chatty person on the bus! He was a small Vietnamese man...well, I don't know that for sure...but I thought he was Vietnamese because he kept talking about Vietnamese people at his job, and making it sound like he was one of them...but then something confused me! On his hand he had a tattoo...and it distinctly said "El Mano". Well, in Spanish the word for hand is "La Mano"...so this greatly confused me. If he had a tattoo on his hand that said "The Hand", how ridiculous would that be? On the other hand (haha, pun intended) it DIDN'T say The Hand...it said something else...but what?!? What does El Mano mean? Anyone know? And what language is it? Was it some sort of inside joke?...Anyway, needless to say it made the the trip interesting between contemplating what El Mano meant and attempting to listen to his muttering conversation about everything from the weather (obviously) to HIS SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER (yes, he told me his social security number...ummm what?!?!) to his job and everything in between. So I say thank you Public Transportation, you are always good for an ironic chuckle.
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What? Chelsea, are you telling me you ARENT'T familiar with Vietnamese organized crime norms? First you need to know there are several different factions, and in order to confuse each other, they use different languages for their call names. The more powerful the faction, the closer geographically the language is to the gang's city, excepting of course the language of the city (because otherwise locals would know their criminal names and that would just be foolish). So in this case, you evidently encountered somebody in the strongest clan in Seattle because his tattoos were in Spanish, and Mexico is closer to Seattle than Quebec is(crazy Canadians with their French...). Now, I would almost think that El Man-o is actually Spanglish for "The Man", except that Vietnamese crimelords never mix languages for their crime boss names. I can only assume then that he actually was going for the literal translation of "The Hand", which of course, in the mafia world means personal assassin to a high-ranking warlord. However, with the switching of the articles, I would infer that he is actually asserting his superiority over all other such personal assassins, because, as is common knowledge, to his cultural paradigm, a masculine article implies much greater dominance than a that of the female. As for his unusual chattiness about the weather and his job, he must have been code-speaking the details of his next hit, thinking you were his contact for equipment, which most likely he had only been told would be "the blond on that sits next to you on the bus." Of course when you didn't respond in like code, he realized his mistake and instead took to bragging, sharing his "social security number", which of course to an assassin is a number for social settings that will guarantee security of employment (ie, his number of successful hits). Considering that he has a nine digit body count, the only possible conclusion is that you were in fact sitting next to the most nefarious, feared Vietnamese personal assassin in the greater Seattle area. Impressive that you escaped with your life.
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